Bad Things and Stupid People

Working at PKI you see numerous odd things. Most are things you don't want to see, others are some that just make you laugh. So here is my list of things I see everyday at work that make me laugh and want to put some chlorine in the gene pool. I seriously wonder where people get their fashion sense or better put, lack there of. It also might seem like I make fun of 300lbs people a lot. There's one things about being hevay and dressing nice than being heavy and acting like you aren't heavy :)

1.) Mullets - Seriously, I lose count of how many of these I see a day. There are also clearly different kinds of mullets. People also take care of them differently too. MY favorite has to be the Billy Ray Cyrus-esque Kentucky waterfall :)

2.) Bad Bathing Suits - It's simple. If you weigh over 300 lbs, DON'T WEAR A BIKINI!!! It's gross. Also wear shorts over the bottoms at least. We're gonna make you put them on to ride the ride anyway. It's pretty much guaranteed that if you weigh 300 lbs, we don't wanna see your legs anyway!

3.) Thongs - Don't wear a dark colored thong with white pants! If you're old enough to wear a thong, you should know that! Also don't wear a dark thong with white pants and go ride a water ride. Especially if it's a new thong that hasn't been washed yet. They tend to bleed onto the white pants. And don't wear a dark colored thong with white pants if you weigh 300lbs either :)

4.) Skanks - It's ok if you don't wear underwear under your skirt and I don't know about it. But when you're mounting and dismounting the horses on the carousel don't purposely show me your hoo hah. I have one of my own, I don't need to see yours. That's why a.) don't wear a skirt to an amusement park and b.) we let people sit side saddle on the horses.

5.) Shoes - LEAVE THEM ON!!! It has to get incredibly annoying being told to put them on before you ride anyway. If only people knew how gross the ground there was, and the kind of stuff we've found on the ground there. A thing that would help not having to take your shoes off would be to wear proper shoes for an amusement park like comfy flip flops or *gasp* tennis shoes! Not your sassy sandals with 4 inch heels. Use common sense people! It's an amusement park. You're gonna walk a lot and it's summer time. You're gonna get hot and sweaty. Don't wear clubbing clothes!

6.) Kid Leashes - Parents, the last time i checked when 2 human beings produce children, they are human too. They have 2 legs and 2 arms. NOT 4 legs and no arms. Therefore, don't put your kids on leashes. They aren't dogs. It has to get incredibly annoying feeling like your walking your dog all day. If your kids aren't well behaved enough to walk around an amusement park and stay with you, then you shouldn't bring them until they are well behaved enough to do so.

7.) Teenagers - I know you think your hot shit and the world revolves around you, but it doesn't. There is also no need to act like it at an amusement park. I know the carousel isn't the most thrilling ride in the park, but don't ruin it for other people. I hate yelling at people, and I'm sure the people that are following the rules don't like it either. I know you think it's cool to stand up on the horses and sit backwards and make faces at me when you pass, but it really isn't. Also, spitting off the tower isn't that cool either. And neither is asking stupid questions like "what if the cable breaks?" I would tell you the real answer, but i need my job. Oh yeah, and ducking under the rails isn't any quicker than following the queue lines. We already have the shortest route opened for you.

8.) Don't Shoot the Messenger! - I know some of the rules may seem stupid. It might not make sense to you why babies have to have something on their feet, and you have to leave your drinks and strollers at the bottome of the tower. Don't yell at me, they're not my rules, i just enforce them. There's a logical explaination for 99% of the rules, we're not trying to make you get rid of the coke you paid $5 because we're evil. Use common sense and "finish eating and drinking before riding" It's posted on a sign at the entrance of every ride!

Ok, there's my rant of the day. Now I'm off to be lazy :)