I Quit...Again
 
Right now i jusy wanna crawl in a hole and die.  Seriously.  I'm drained. Mentally, physically, financially and emotionally.  Most of it is my surgery and the condition I'll be in afterward.  I know it'll be cake compared to my last one, but in a way i'm still scared.  At least they're fixing something that hurts, and I'll feel better eventually unlike my last one.  Anesthesia doesn't treat me well, and i don't know how much pain i'll be in afterward.  I guess i could say I'm afraid of the unknown. 

Then there's the whole dependency thing.  I absolutely HATE depending on other people for my mere survival.  I also hate being incapacitated.  Hell, i did go to work 15 hours after i broke my wrist.  I've always been a pretty independent person, and i will be, until Friday evening.  Broken wrist and all.  I hate being babied and fussed over, and that's what's going to happen.  Then I'll turn into a bitch because

A.) i'll have to rely on others because a broken wrist doesn't allow one to use crutches too easily.  My Dad is pushing for a motorized scooter.  I know, funny mental image, but at this rate, i'll hurt myself on that too. 

B.) people will fuss over me.  If you wanna come visit, feel free to, just don't offer to get me anything or ask me when i have to take my medicine, if i want it, i'll ask you to please bring it to me.  Don't come over to babysit me.  All I need is someone to sit and watch the Family Guy or the Simpsons with me. 

C.  I will be spending entirely too much time with my Mom.  With her out of a job, she'll be home fussing over me everyday.  I'm estimating at least a fight a day right now. 

D.)   The one thing that I look forward to all summer has been ruined.  There's something about working with the high school band That reminds me why i torture myself with school.  I want to give those kids the same awesome experience that I had.  I love watching the show come together, from the wrong notes, bad chords, kids that have no sense of rhythm, and missed sets, to the perfection echoed through the Dome in Indy is unbelievable.   All that, down the drain. 

Things got better tonight because my dad took my brother and I grocery shopping.  We all know that grocery shopping with Dad is the best because you actually get all the junk food you want!  Comfort foods are exactly what I wanted and i think my Dad knew that without coming right out and saying it to me.  Thanks to my Dad, the house is now stocked with Oreos, Chips Ahoy, pretzels, ice cream, fruit snacks, 4 kinds of pop tarts, and some Admiral Cruchington...peanut butter style.  There were some healthy things, but right now, they aren't important :) 

Whee! Welcome to a day in the mind of me.