Jack Handey

I need to figure out a way to keep myself going when working out. I either do WAY too much, or just enough to get by (that's nothing new). It's weird because of my crazy high pain tolerance, that my muscles never hurt when working out, they just get tired. And when they get tired, i tend to be like "ok, that's enough" instead of being like "look you damn triceps, you're going to do one more set bitches!" Or something like that. Therefore, i think I originally got stronger, then I've hit this plateau because I don't push myself. I like to have that person there with me like a pace horse, I need the competiton and something to compare myself to. Something to beat. I think that's the only thing keeping me from hitting the next level of buffness.

On another note, I think I've figured out why I'm so indecisive. I don't trust myself. After discussing my inability to hit the right notes in my lesson, we came to the conclusion that I second guess myself. And now I know I do. Hitting the right note is like making a decision. It's now or never and it can't be taken back. I always second guess things like that. I hate heights. Actually I like heights a lot, just not when its up to me whether I fall or not. For example, flying in a plane, walking around the top of the tower at ex-work, the top of the Sears Tower, all don't bother me. Climbing a ladder to a tree house, climbing steps up the tower at ex-work, anything like that bothers me. Why? If I can't control whether I fall or not, I'm fine with it, but anything I don't trust myself doing, e.g: climbing ladders, I hate.

Ahh, the inner workings of Ash, I'm still finding things out!