You Might Be A Redneck If....

You live with my family. Ok, so most of you are saying "what took you so long to figure that out?" I knew it, but I have just now come to terms with admitting it :) (Not really) I have nothing against rednecks and the country because, well, I fit in better. I've always wanted to live in a big farmhouse in the country. I am not yuppie, like 'Boro is. Actually, that's one of the reasons I like 'Boro. It's totally incredibly yuppie, and there are some of the things like that I like. Like the fact that the grocery store and anywhere you would ever want to go is within a 20 minute drive. Its not so busy that it takes you 20 minutes to drive 5 miles, and the stores don't have bars on the windows. Yeah, so I just described the typical upper-class suburbia neighborhood. I'll admit that I'm spoiled. But having redneck qualities, thanks to my Mom's side, is fun. I have decided out of boredom to list why my family really should move to the other side of I-75 (Franklin). I love making fun of my family :)

- We keep an extra car, because there is almost always one in the shop.
- My brother is restoring a '79 El Camino, not a 'Vette stingray or anything, an El Camino. He says its because it's not a very common car. Fair enough.
- We used to have 3 station wagons. That has been changed to 2 trucks and the El Camino (truck-like) and my station wagon.
- Thanks to my brother, the 'Boro cops have it out for El Caminos
- At any given point after 5pm you can find at least 6 cars in front of my house (not including when I'm home)
- We have a 2 car garage that we can't get a single car in.
- We own an air compressor, air tools, and an arc welder.
- My grandmother can create a set of tupperware made out of Cool Whip containers.
- In my basement there are 4 sets of El Camino/Monte Carlo doors, a set of bucket seats, 3 quarter panels, and 2 fenders.
- My brother owns a pair of jeans and maybe 3 shirts that aren't covered in grease and smell like ass.
- NASCAR races are always on the tv on Sundays, being taped on the DVR while my brother and Dad are asleep on the couch.
- According to my grandma, anything can be fried (she can't bake)
- We have an engine hoist and an engine stand in the garage. The stand has an extra 305 engine on it that would run.
- 2 of our vehicles have stickers in the back window advertising JEGS and NHRA
- We can relate to 3/4 of the things mentioned on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour
-My brother. Enough said.

Ok, so my family isn't as bad as they could be. We could have a truck up on blocks in the front yard with grass growing around it and beer cans in the front yard. I like my family just how they are, I would define it as "sophisticated redneck." They're fun and laid back, and I can walk into my house and share drinking stories with my Mom. I can't wait to go home!