Dear Teachers,

I know you may think it's easy to assign the kids group work when you are gone. It's easy for you, and supposedly easy for the substitute right? WRONG! The kids don't listen or follow instructions or stay on task. Instead, they're running around like banshees, especially when they know the principal is out for the day at meetings. Also, tell the kids to stop obsessing about the fact that I have the cartilage at the top of my ear pierced. Apparently the popular question to ask is "Did that hurt?" What I want to say to that? "Not a bit, in fact it felt like gum drops and candy rainbows." The real answer? "yes it hurt, and it took a year to heal, now shut up and do your work." Then I get, "is your ring real?" "yes" "Are you married?" "Not yet." "When are you getting married?" "Next summer" "Do you have kids?" "NO!"Most of the time it stops there, until the subject of pets comes up. "Do you have a dog?" "Yes." "what's her name?" "He's a boy." What's his name?" "Chief." "what kind is he?" "A pug and something" "I have a (enter breed here)" then immediately after. "Do you like cats?" "Yeah" "Do you have one?" "yeah" "cool" It's like freakin' 20 questions every time I sub in a new room. This happens every time I set foot in a new classroom, no matter what the school or what the age level. It's quite annoying.

I've been tired as hell all day, and I don't know why. Maybe that's why I'm kinda grumpy.